Coparenting

4 Biggest Stressors In Modern Young Adult Life

You’ve just graduated high school and are now pressured to attend the real world of either working or furthering your education. But how are you supposed to know what to do when the only classes your high school offered were based around math, science, and reading? Graduating high school and deciding what to do for seemingly the rest of your life can be really stressful. Here are the four biggest stressors that affect young adults in modern society.

No free time

Young adults never seem to have enough free time to get everything done that they have to. They seem to use up all of their time either working, at school, or both. Because of this, whenever they seem to get any free time at all, they have to spend it either going to appointments or catching up on chores. This creates stress because they feel like they have too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Relationship problems

Every teenager has relationship problems, but as they get older, they seem to be more pressured into finding someone to spend the rest of their life with. Sometimes their friends and family pressure them by always asking about when they’re going to find a partner or they feel pressured by constantly being surrounded by their friends who are already in relationships. Young adults in modern society feel pressured to find a partner, and this creates stress as well as lowered self-esteem.

Moving out

By living with their family for their whole, it can be very stressful when they realize it’s time to move out. Not only is the whole process of moving out a pain because of the packing and unpacking, but moving out breaks their routine that they’ve had for so many years. Whether it’s moving out into a dorm room, moving out into an apartment with friends, or even just moving out to be on their own, all of these can be stressful and create pressures in their life.

Financial worries

The biggest stressor for everyone is their financial concern. For young adults specifically, starting to generate a credit score is a big pressure placed on them. Consequently, understanding how a credit score works can help them maintain a good score. A credit score is a number that lenders use to contemplate whether or not to loan you money. In the United States, your credit score is known as your FICO score and is composed of 5 factors. These include your payment history, debt burden, length of your history, types of credit, and recent credit searches. Once you understand how a credit score works, you’ll be able to manage and maintain it better.

Overall, transitioning into the life of an adult and into the working world can be stressful. There are so many pressures, and so many different people are expecting different things from you. But with the right mindset and support from friends and family and with the general understanding of how the working life is managed, you can better understand how to accustom yourself into the new lifestyle of living as an adult.

 

Including the Stepparent

Many separated or divorced parents make the decision to move on with their lives and seek meaningful relationships. When remarrying or deciding to be in a committed relationship, their partners take on a role of a stepparent.

Lotus Therapies|Stepparents|CoParenting|Cumming, GA|Lawrenceville, GA

Being a stepparent can be very overwhelming, challenging, and rewarding. But when a stepparent isn't supported, included on respected they could feel like the odd man out and problems and resentment start to seep into your relationship. Being the odd man out for the stepparent can feel like they are on constant pins and needles with the kids and you as their partner because they are trying to find their place and their voice in your co-parenting situation.

Lotus Therapies|Stepparents|CoParenting|Cumming, GA|Lawrenceville, GA

With the children, their needs, trying to manage the co-parenting relationship, and your own needs, the stepparent and their needs can unnoticeably take a backseat. Here are 3 tips to make sure that the stepparent feels connected and included.

Nurture Your Relationship

Stepparents need the reassurance that the co-parenting situation working for the betterment of the family unit and validation and recognition of their place in their household and in their spouse's life. Make time for each other when you can maintain your connection.Unity within the couple's relationship bridges the emotional gap between the stepparent and stepchildren and positions both adults to lead the family.

Lotus Therapies|Stepparents|CoParenting|Cumming, GA|Lawrenceville, GA

 

Communicate! Then Communicate Some More.

Just as the lines of communication is imperative for co-parents, it is also important for stepparents and their partners. Rather than being silent in their resentment, stepparents should express their need to have their contributions recognized and acknowledged (Grace, Elizabeth, 2017).  Stepparents can find it hard to find their barrings and need to be able to talk with their partners on how they feel, how to address issues that come up with the children, and what their role looks like as a stepparent where everyone is feels validated and their needs are being met. 

 

Just a little Respect.

Respect is a big part of the foundation of any relationship. Just as your relationship took the time to grow and flourish it will take time for the stepparent and child to bond. Respecting the process, having discussions about the new family unit and how it will be managed is key to building a strong foundation. A stepparent will have their own views, values, and beliefs that they will bring to the relationship and those should be respected and acknowledged. But as parents and partners communication about how parenting, discipline, and co-parents should be handled will be ongoing and partners must come to an agreement they are comfortable with implementing in their daily lives. Another important aspect of respect is between the stepparent and the child. Both the child and the stepparent should show each other a level of respect. This is always best displayed rather than verbalized because children do as you do not as you say--usually. If a child feels safe with the stepparent and not pushed into a relationship with them respect comes a little bit easier. Stepparents also must display respect for the children and the other parent (your ex) by being considerate of boundaries, communicating with honesty, and helping to keep the peace.

Although step-parenting can be difficult it can also be rewarding and help to create loving connections. Stepparents should be acknowledged for their roles, heard, included in decisions and planning, and the marriage or romantic relationship should be nurtured to make sure that your relationship and family unit is solid. 

 

References:

Grace, Elizabeth (2017, May 27). Dealing with Feelings of Resentment as a Stepparent. Being a Stepparent. Retrieved from http://www.beingastepparent.co.uk/dealing-with-feelings-resentment-stepparent.html

Deal, Ron (2002). Stepparenting: It Takes Two. Focus on the Family. Retrieved from http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/single-blended-family-parenting/blended-families/stepparenting-it-takes-two